A Matter of Time

Have you ever imagined that there would be a time when 'time' does not exist ? It sounds ridiculous doesn't it ? But allow me to stretch your imagination. Let's say you wake up one morning and cannot find any clocks or watches in the house. You turn on the radio only to wait in vain for the announcement of time. You sit in your bed starring outside your window and begin to wonder whether it is morning or not. You know that you have just woken up and the sky outside looks blue and clear, but it can well be in the afternoon.

Men are animals of routine. We structure and partition our days in ways where one event loyally follows another. If something happens out of the routine, we call it an 'accident' . In certain ways we are biologically wired to a pattern in order to survive. Researchers found that human sleep cycles are biologically inflexible. Anything more than about an hour off in either direction causes sleep deprivation. We are however not only bound by the day-night cycle, but by demarcations we create for ourselves. We work from nine to five during the weedays of the week, squeeze in twenty-four hours a day and keep saying that we could use an extra hour or two. It is somewhat self-deceiving to think that we could be more productive or actually have more time in our disposal if there are only more hours in a day. Then there are those who say they are "running out of time"' that they have to be "on time" or that they have a 'deadline' to meet. Time occupies so much a subconscious position in our psyche and in our daily lives that we feel we can almost touch it with our hands.

Even when we finish with our 24 hour day, there is the 7-day week, the 4-weekly or so month, the four seasons, the year, the decade, the century and so the time goes on. We humans are conscious of our past and a sense of time helps to jolt our memory somewhat. We are also probably the only sentimental species around who appreciate the passage of time. I have not seen other mamals of high intelligence like apes and whales celebrate birthdays, anniversaries or new years. I am sure that time places important roles in animals like birds who in their own precision of timing migrate south and fish who lay eggs upstream at the prime time. It is however only humans who blow candels once every 365 days to mark one's birth, who look sweetly into each other's eyes and hold each other's hands to renew love on anniversaries and wait eagerly with mixed emotions to say farewell to the year gone and usher in a new year. What would we be like if there is nothing called 'time'? Would we be totally confused or would life be more pleasant? One thing is certain though, time or whatever it represents goes on. It never stands still.

When a child is born to this earth, nothing is quite certain about it yet. We know its sex and collect information on its body weight, length, birthmarks and anxiously take note of any defects. But that's about it. Statistics may be able to make some predictions on its future according to the family's medical history and any know hereditary illnesses, on its possibility of success according to how intelligent its parents are and on what kind of environment it's born into. At most, past wisdom and statistical numbers can only make calculated guesses at the risk factor, the vulnerability and so forth; there is still much unknown and uncertain about its future. There is however one thing that anyone can be sure about. One does not have to consult any experts or astrologist to tell you this: that one day this child is going to die, like the rest of us mortals. It is not whether the child will die or not, it is a matter of when this is going to happen. This is, however of course the last thing on anyone's mind when a child is born. The harsh reality though is that whether we have our clock or calender with us or not, time keeps ticking the minute we are born or indeed the second we are conceived. It is somewhat disturbing to read ethicist Abbyann Lynch's comment on the practice at in vitro fertilization clinics of implanting many embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy, then destroying some of them. she said, "It is like saying to a fetus you are good enough to come on the trip but not make the final voyage". we can better appreciate now that for all of us who have sucessfully made this journey and emerge as winners after nine months of incarceration will not easily let go of this life that we are promised. Nor would we allow the time that we have to carelessly slip through our fingers if we have any control. We feel that only if we could suspend the time forever, we would have all the time we need.

It is probably men's own wish for immortality and fear of the unknow which best explain our obsession with time, date and our age. It is not so much that we are interested in the time that has become history but in the substraction formula which leads us to find out how much time we have left. A pertinent question occuping the minds if not at the corners of the mouths of many terminal patients is :"How much time do I have left?" Fortunately no one can answer that question with accuracy and authority as God. No one else probably want to assume that awesome authority or responsibility. I am not sure that those patients who ask that questions want to to know the answer anyway. Would it have made any difference for the remaining months, days or hours and would they have done anything differently if they are already conducting a life to their satisfaction and they are prepared to go when their eyes close for the very last time.

Reports on interviews with people who have near-death experiences are revealing. These are people whose vital functions like heart rate, pulse and breathing stop for a moment and on many occassions have been thought to have died but surprised everyone by their return. Many of them report very similar experiences despite having diverse cultural, social and personal backgrounds. They often report passing through a long tunnel heading towards a bright figure at the end of it. The feeling which usually accompanies this journey is a sense of tranquility and peace. Those who have near-death experiences as a result of attempted suicides, however, have rather different stories to tell. Another interesting relevation from research into these interviews is that many of those who have near-death experiences change their attitude and indeed style of life afterwards.

Medical technologies have successfullly prolonged our time on earth. The average lifespan of men and women in developed countries has increased in the last decade because of new advances in medicine. The quality of these expanded lifes seem to however remain stagnant if not worsened. Many live on life-supporting machines, in alienation if not isolation. We may have acquired the quantity of time through our wealth and ambition, but not the quality of it. I am reminded of a story told to me years ago. An elderly monk lived with his fellow brothers in a temple on top of a mountain. His job was to wipe the floor outside the temple's entrance. He has been at it for years and years, day in and day out, clearing off fallen leaves in autumn and shuffling snow in winter. One night he had the priviledge of meeting an angle who appeared at his bed side. He was told that his day was near and that whatever wish he had in his remaining days on earth would be granted as he had been such a faithful servant. The old monk pondered for a short while, looked up to the angel and smiled saying: "I wish to spend my last days the way I 've been spending for the past 60 years. wiping the temple's floor." I think that says a lot about his satisfaction of life.

When there is no concept of time, there may not be any concept of how much time is left. I wonder what it would be like if we have not adopted a system whereby we keep track of the time. Aside from the obvious disadvantage of a lack of knowing when the next bus is scheduled and forgetting our over-cooked roast in the oven, there seems to be a number of advantages. For one we will not face the embarrassing moment of divulging our real age because we simply do not know. We also do not need to act according to our age, but rather according to our physical and mental state. It is interesting to note that the age of consent, the age when one can hold license and indeed the age when one is considered as an independent adult is changing. While time has not changed a bit and still faithfully ticks once every so often, what happens between the time boundaries has. Another advantage of being timeless is that we do not erect a filter when interacting with others basing on their age. A young child may be capable of conducting a mature conversation with an adult; so as a senior being still young at heart. We take each other on our own merits.

Sometimes it is not just a matter of time, but a matter of timing. The very same event which takes exactly the same amount of time to complete may have very different impact depending on when it happens. A decision made at a split second before and a split second after in a stock market could have meant a difference of millions of dollars. A word of apology, encouragement or even reprimend offered at the right or the wrong time could have brought evey different results. Ethologist Lorenz showed that the young of precocial birds form an attachment with a 'mother figure' only during a brief 'sensitive period' just after hatching . This 'mother figure' could well be any moving figure happened to appear in front of the young bird at that very sensitive period, including a man. The bird has an 'imprint' of that figure as its mother and the process is irreversible. While human beings are less vulnerable as our maturational process is longer and more sophisticated, we are not totally devoided of such restrictions. We try to learn musical instruments, ballet languages and gymnastic exercises at a young prime age, knowing that if we miss this period of exposure we are going to miss it altogether. Our physical and mental abilities will never be quite as ready for such beautiful and yet rigorous assaults again. For those of us who did not get 'Imprinted' to these skills and art forms, we may offer and at times impose such opportunities on our children. Poor kids sometimes serve as instruments to fulfil our own unfulfilled wishes. Our sensitivity to timing accentuates our concern with what we can and cannot fulfill in the shortness of our lifepan.

The opposite extreme of one's obsession with time is a sense of timelessness. We have been told that some things are just timeless or ageless. They are not affected by change of time or by the fashion in the air. Their value has been ascertained, their existence assured in history and in future. Very ofter objects of such stature are pieces of art like paintings, music pieces, antique items and sometimes influencial writings. all thest may be valuable and timeless, but they can still be bought with a price. They may demand astronomical figures at autions, but not too invaluable or too ageless to be without a pricetag. There is on the other hand a human spirit truly timeless and undeniable invaluable. It cannot be concretized, nor can it be bought with a price. It has existed ever since our ancestors appear on this earth and it will continue to exist for ages to come. It is hardwired into our cells and nurtured through our time. Paintings and famous writings are mere expressions and manifestation of facets of it. From the very beginning it has been instilled in our spirit a desire to love and at the same time a desire to be loved. This probably simply reflects the character of God when He first made us in His image long time age.

Time is an abstract concept to enable us to monitor what we cannot stop. The moment that we begin our journey in our mother's womb, we fight to control the time allotted to us. We are sentimental to events consuming our time passed and fear for what little is left in our disposal. We eagerly unfold our uncertain future and dread our only certainty of death. We desperately try to make significance of this life in the use of our time and by our sense of good timing. We attempt to transcend the presence into eternity, to be timeless and ageless. It will only be a matter of time though before we discover whether our time have been well spent.

- Vincent Lo